1. Ask open-ended questions.

It is important to ask open-ended questions in order to identify the other person’s position and interest. Open-ended questions invite a narrative and paints a more accurate picture of what the problem is. For example,

You SHOULD NOT say:

Do you regret your decision?
Do you want to compromise?

You SHOULD say:

How do you feel about your decision? (open-ended)

If I am willing to do [...],
what are you willing to do? (open-ended)

2. Focus on the problem.

Suppose there is a dispute between over uncleaned dog poop in one neighbor’s lawn.

Neighbor: This is not the first time your dog
made my life difficult! He also bit my
daughter last summer! That dog has to go!

You: Your daughter threw a rock at my dog!

Neighbor: That's a lie!

During a heated conversation, it is highly likely that the conversation can get out of topic. In these situations, you should remind the parties in conflict or the person you are in conflict with to focus on particular issues. For example:

Is there a difference between different colored bell peppers?

Green bell peppers are harvested before they are ripe. As green peppers mature, they turn yellow, orange then red as they reach the peak of maturity.

Bell peppers are a great source of antioxidants, folate, potassium and vitamin C. However, each color of pepper vary slightly in nutritional content and taste. For example, red bell peppers have twice as much vitamin C, eleven times more beta carotene and nine times more lycopene than green peppers because the pepper was left to mature on the plant. Orange, yellow and red peppers also taste sweeter than the green ones. All whole medium peppers are around 24 calories.

Conflicts arise when a person’s needs are not met and is often triggered by fear, sense of unfairness, and difference in opinions, values or attitudes. People quarrel over chores, finances, timelines, territory, etc. You name it, people have fought about it. Here are three simple rules to keep in mind when resolving or dealing with a conflict:

1. The ‘fair’ solution is not always the best solution. A good solution to a problem is one that addresses the concerns and needs of each party in conflict.

The concept of dividing fault or splitting the difference equally as the fairest way of resolving a conflict is flawed because opposing parties usually do not want the same things even though they say they do. Consider this example:

Two daughters are fighting over the last lemon in the kitchen. Each say they want the lemon. They bicker for ten minutes and don’t listen to each other. The mother says, “split the lemon.” Both daughters do not want to split the lemon. The bickering goes on. The mother forces them to split the lemon in half. Both daughters walk away unhappy.

Pasta comes in different shapes and sizes. It is a staple in Italian cooking and is usually made with some sort of flour and eggs. Thankfully, many supermarkets now carry vegan options! We often use Explore Asian Bean Pastas because they are certified vegan and contain between 20 to 25 grams of protein per serving! They can be found in your local Stop & Shop or Wholefoods. Wholefoods (and its 365 Everyday Value brand) also carry their own vegan pastas.

Boiling pasta is VERY easy. All you need is water, oil, a pot and a stove.

We love asparagus! We try to incorporate it into the dishes we cook as much as we can. It can be grilled, steamed, baked, sauteed, boiled and even microwaved! A medium spear that is 5 ¹⁄₄ to 7 inches long is around 3 calories. It’s rich in vitamin K which helps prevent arteries from hardening (a common factor in heart failure). It also helps build stronger bones.

Garam masala is a ground spice blend used in South Asian and Southeast Asian dishes. The spices used vary depending on the region and many have adopted their own versions. The common spices used are cardamon, clove, cumin, cinnamon, coriander, peppercorn, and nutmeg. Some add fennel seed, nigella seeds, dry mango, mace, anistar, different types of chili and even mustard seeds.

Uses: It can be used in stews, soups, marinades, salad dressings, as a rub, in boiled rice and even in desserts.

Storage: Using a tin can with double lids is the best way to keep ground spices fresh. We use tea tin metal containers for our spices.

The garam masala spice we use is store bought. It has coriander, red chili, cumin, clove, anistar, mace, fennel, black pepper, bay leaves, cinnamon, dry mango, salt and clove leaves. However, you can also make your own spice blend by using the common spices mentioned above.